


Aftermath

by silvertrails



Series: Our Love [6]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 12:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11829057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertrails/pseuds/silvertrails
Summary: Findekáno speaks with his mother about Maitimo.





	Aftermath

**Aftermath  
** By CC  
January, 2008 

This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J.R.R. Tolkien. No profit is made and no harm is intended. 

The story is set in Tirion, YT 1300. Maedhros is nearly seventy years old, and Fingon is ten years younger. This is the year Turgon and Finrod are born. I am assuming that Curufin was born in that year too. 

This should be read after “Our Love”, but it can stand alone too. 

25 Fluffy Fics 13: Nightmare

* * *

It was early in the morning when Findekáno returned to his father’s house. After leaving Tirion’s main square with Maitimo, they had stayed in Finwë’s castle for a while before heading to one of the inns outside the city. Once there, Findekáno and Maitimo had stayed in a cozy room, talking and kissing, until Telperion’s silvery light had signaled the coming of a new day.

The innkeeper had urged them to go back to their homes, and Maitimo had rushed to his father’s house, making Findekáno promise to do the same. Findekáno had taken his time to come home, though. He had wandered around Tirion for a while, thinking. He loved Maitimo, and wanted nothing but to stay at his cousin’s side, but would their sires ever understand? 

Maitimo had told Findekáno that Nerdanel knew, and that she had warned him about the difficult path they would have to follow if they acknowledged their feelings. Findekáno was quite certain that his own mother would not approve. Nerdanel was a free spirit, but Anairë seemed to be more comfortable following the rules and traditional ways of the Quendi.

Findekáno entered the house through the kitchen door, hoping to avoid his mother. The cook was already preparing breakfast, and Alissa, the maid, was waiting for the trays. They offered him tea, but Findekáno told them that he would have a bath first. He rushed through the corridors and reached his bedroom without crossing anyone else’s path. 

Surely his parents would demand an explanation. Findekáno had left the party after telling Aurelissë that he didn't love her. He liked her, but not in the way ellons liked elleths. Findekáno sighed. How was he going to tell his parents that he was not interested in elleths that way? Even if they accepted this, Findekáno doubted his father would approve of a union with Maitimo. 

Findekáno had known for a while that he would never marry, and he had come to accept this part of his nature. Unions between elves of the same sex were not unknown among the Quendi, even if they were discouraged. Marrying a first cousin was unthinkable, though. Their families would never understand. Findekáno rested his hands on the windowsill and hung his head in despair. 

"Findekáno?" a voice called behind him. Findekáno started and whirled around, almost losing his balance. When he saw it was his mother, he immediately schooled his face into a pleasant mask.

"Mother, you startled me. I didn't expect you to be awake already.” 

Though maybe the baby had woken her...

"I have been waiting for you, my son. Your father and I were told about the incident with Aurelissë. You disappeared after it; you left the dance with Nelyo."

Findekáno nodded warily. 

Anairë frowned. "Have you been with Nelyo all this time?"

She didn't look pleased, and Findekáno wondered if it was because he had rejected Aurelissë, or because he had spent the rest of the night with his cousin. 

"I was tired of the party," Findekáno said. “Nelyo kept me company. We didn’t realize it was so late. I am sorry if I worried you, Mother.”

Anairë sighed softly and left the bedroom, returning a short time later with bread, fruit, and hot tea. She placed the tray on the nightstand and looked at Findekáno sternly. 

"Eat," she said quietly. "Your father wants to speak with you, but I will tell him to wait until you have rested. Be careful, my son. He is already wondering why you spend so much time with Nelyo."

"And you, mother?" Findekáno asked. He needed to know if at least his mother would understand and forgive.

"I was hoping you married Aurelissë," Anairë said, her gaze softening slightly. "It is what your father and I expected you to do. The kind of love you seem to be seeking is unnatural, but it is forbidden to look for it among your close kin. Do you believe that Fëanáro will approve? Do you believe that your father will?"

Findekáno shook his head. He knew, but it was disheartening to hear his mother say it. He sat on his bed and looked down. He was alone on this...

"You are my son, Findekáno," Anairë said, stroking his hair gently. "I love you, and I don't want to see you suffer. You have to fight this attraction you feel for your cousin. It will only bring pain to you, and to our family."

Findekáno sighed, and didn't look up until his mother had left. He reached for a slice of bread and started to eat mechanically. He drank the tea and then kicked his boots away, getting rid of his cloak. It would be better to sleep and think of nothing. It would be better to keep his feelings inside himself. It seemed so unfair, but he had long ago realized that grief was not unknown in Aman and that not everything could be healed. His braids were still plaited but he didn't care. He lay down and curled up on the bed, waiting for sleep to come. He didn't want to think anymore, or to dream...

_Findekáno stood in Maitimo's bedroom, looking at a jewel his cousin had made. It was a ruby pendant hanging from a beautiful silver chain; a work of art._

_"Do you like it?" Maitimo asked, looking at it over Findekáno's shoulder. "I finished it last night. I wanted it to be ready when you came."_

_"Were you so certain I would come?" Findekáno asked playfully._

_"You said you would," Maitimo said, his lips almost brushing Findekáno's ear._

_Findekano started a bit, but covered it quickly, turning around and holding the jewel against the light to better admire it._

_"It is beautiful, cousin.”_

_Maitimo smiled. "As are you, Findekáno,” he said, and took the jewel from him, placing it back on the table. Before Findekáno could say a word, Maitimo kissed his cheek, making him shiver._

_"Findekáno..." There were no more words, and Findekáno gasped softly when Maitimo traced the curve of his jaw and lips, his cousin’s other arm sneaking around his waist and pulling him closer._

_"I have been dreaming of holding you like this for so long, Findekáno. I don't know when this started but one day I looked at you and something was different. I saw a beautiful elf with the most amazing gray eyes and these soft dark locks..."_

_Findekáno was unable to do anything but stare into his cousin's eyes while his body melted against Maitimo's. His cousin’s touch was filling an empty place he didn’t know he had, warming his spirit._

_Maitimo fingered one of Findekáno's braids while planting soft kisses on the corners of his lips. Findekáno closed his eyes, and a soft sigh came out of his lips as he surrendered to the inevitable. He knew should be moving away before someone came, but he could not. He didn't want to, and when Maitimo kissed him, all trace of coherent thought fled his mind. Fire coursed through Findekáno's veins and he held tightly to his cousin, losing himself in the embrace. He might have surrendered to his emotions if a sudden noise had not startled them both._

_“What is the meaning of this?” Fëanáro roared._

_Nolofinwë was there too, and his eyes showed nothing but disappointment. Suddenly Maitimo was gone, taken away by Fëanaro; Nolofinwë was gone too, and Findekáno knew that his father would never forgive him._

Findekáno sat on the bed abruptly, gasping for air. A dream, a nightmare... He shivered and hugged his knees, trying to still the trembling. What would his father say if he knew? Would Nolofinwë be disappointed in him? Findekáno sighed and slid his feet to the floor. It would be better to take a long bath, and try to relax before talking to his father. He was still very tired, but he didn’t want to fall asleep again.


End file.
